


alethiometers that make sense would be useless

by kbokbok



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Multi, Superpowers, secret homestuck, that has no bearing though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 12:56:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16137713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kbokbok/pseuds/kbokbok
Summary: A vehicle for Powered!Les Amis headcanons. Drabble.Grantaire has a chip on his shoulder, a great bullshit meter, and thoroughly distracts everyone.





	alethiometers that make sense would be useless

**Author's Note:**

> I was bored, so I matched up all of the Les Amis (plus Marius, Musichetta, and Eponine to give me a full twleve) with Homestuck aspects and gave them superpowers based on fandom interpretations of those aspects.  
> More on that in the end notes.

“No.” Grantaire didn't mean to speak, but. “Not him.” His look had been weasels and grasping raccoon hands, buckler shields and locked boxes.

“R?” Joly looks concerned.

“Grantaire, do you know something?” Enjolras asked him solemnly.

It strikes him harder than it should. Grantaire is the only one who cannot prove his ability, and that stings. None of his friends doubt him, but that is only because they are his friends. The artist brays a laugh: brassy, angry, and self-mocking. “No, nothing solid. I shouldn't've spoken. It could all be innocent. Who am I to judge the shape of a man's heart?”

Enjolras looks immediately frustrated. “Just his aura? A color you dislike?” A small fence appears in front of him, unkempt and rickety. Barely an obstacle.

Another blow. “Close enough, Apollo.” The fence grows briers as Enjolras's face twists further. “Give it no more weight than a feeling.” Grantaire blinks to see the fence grow taller at that.

“What did you see, R?” Jehan asks, leaning into him. “I love your visions.” This entire meeting, he's been working on shifting his hair from royal purple to magenta. It's almost worked its way to the end of his long braid. Jehan knows the full extent of his ability, such that it is, and they've spent more than one afternoon with Grantaire sketching for the shapeshifter's entertainment. He, more than even JoMuBo, knows his limitations.

Grantaire groans. “They're not visions, I'm not a prophet, and our associate will disappoint you with his creativity.”

“I thought Grantaire just saw colors?” Marius asked as an aside to Courfeyrac, who shrugged but looked interested. In front of him, disembodied hands played peakaboo with a delighted child.

Bossuet answered instead. “No, he sees waking dreams. It's thoughts and feelings, but dreamlike.”

Grantaire would have protested that description himself, but Joly beat him. “No, it's like pictionary with someone who's an excellent artist, but just draws the first thing that comes to mind subconsciously.”

Combeferre smiled and offered, “It's like in His Dark Materials, the alethiometer, but instead of a set of symbols, they're infinite, and everyone has their own associations.” He made it his business to know the capabilities of everyone in the group, superhuman or no. He'd drawn a full description out of Grantaire within weeks of him joining. As powers go, aura-readers are one of the most common types and the authorities often class them as one step from normal. Contrast this with anything that can be compared to telepathy. Powered individuals of that class could end up in a taser-equipped tracking collar or outright confined.

But it was safe here, so Grantaire snapped his fingers and pointed. “Right! Like, locks, padlocks. When you show locks, you're thinking about home, whether it's your apartment or back home.” Now he pointed at Bahorel, who looked thrilled. “When _you_ show locks, you're thinking you can't do something 'right now,' like a bar is closed or a shirt you wanted to wear is dirty.” He throws his hands up. “I have no idea what this guy is thinking when he shows locks, and reaching raccoon hands, ferrets, and is overall cerise! _I_ don't like those things, but maybe Rascal had a huge impact on him, and he sees them as friendship, and locked boxes could be safety--”

“It's all subjective.” Enjolras asks him to confirm.

Grantaire can't hold back a snort. He goes to answer but--

The lion that is Enjolras's temper (righteous or no) rears its ugly head, becomes a bloodhound.

“Oh my _god_ , you are _barely_ subjective. That's why I laughed, you _are_ pictionary. Sometimes weird pictionary, but my god. It's always the lion with you when you're irritated, and I'm not telling any secrets to say you're irritated with me because there's the lion snapping at the wingless crow, aka me.”

“Enjolras thinks you're a wingless crow?”

“It has arms instead. People arms, pale skin, proportional, and almost useless to a bird. Like,” and he sketches it quickly. It's taunting, thumbs touching its head, fingers waggling. “That thing.”

“Lookit his little arms!” “Oh my god, of course.” “Do me, do me!” Somehow Grantaire loses control of his notebook and it makes its way around the room.

“Uh...” Great. Grantaire had managed to make his Apollo uncomfortable. Probably pinched between freedom of powers and right to privacy. “I could show you guys what you show, but I shouldn't have even told you what our brave leader thinks of me.”

The meeting goes so far off track that only a couple people notice that the decision was made not to induct the potential member.

* * *

 

(The secret, of course, is that Enjolras didn't suddenly become more metaphorical. Grantaire is clever and unsettling like crows, and he has really nice arms.)

**Author's Note:**

> Grantaire (Heart): Officially an aura-reader, a mild power similar to some types of synethesia, he actually sees symbolic plays of people's thoughts/subconscious/feelings. Absolutely no control, sometimes misinterprets. Especially people from other cultures.  
> Enjolras(Mind): Makes illusions. Only visual, sometimes take a lot of concentration. Sometimes accidentally covers Courf in sparkles when he's being too enthusiastic, or makes flashes of red lights pop up around Grantaire when he's really drunk and prickly. Once popped up a sign that said LIAR above a televised politician miles away.  
> Combeferre(Blood): His hands are impossibly strong. Just his hands. He has to use a grinder to trim his nails, his skin looks normal, but nothing can hurt him past the wrists. Excellent control, never hurts someone he doesn't mean to. Can't throw supernaturally, but can flick pebbles like bullets.  
> Courfeyrac(Hope): He can make anyone "spark". He can't make them fall in love, but he can let them feel a potential. Also he can make ANYONE get pregnant, but this probably never comes up because he has to really really want it to happen.  
> Joly(Doom): Freezes things. What he freezes stays that way until he wills it otherwise. Doesn't get freezer burn. He can freeze animals and have them come out fine. Dislikes using his power, usually, but Grantaire helps, then Boss and Chetta when they come along.  
> Bossuet(Time): Perpetually punctual. He has a sense for when everything is due--tea's steeped, noodles are done, joke's due, meeting's about to start. It's mostly subconscious and he rushes without really knowing why and makes mistakes. He describes it as a sudden uptick in anxiety when something's about to be past due.  
> Musichetta (Breath): Amphibious and physically obvious about it. Partially scaled. (Relates to actually breathing abilities, as well as the whole "can't be contained" that Breath has going on)  
> Feully (Rage): Finds alcohol no matter what (blindfolded, miles away, etc). This is the interpretation of Rage that links to both mind-altering substances and "only one choice." (I originally gave this to R, but I thought it would be more fun to give some people aspects incompatible with their personalities, see: Joly) He's learned how to do a bunch of stuff with booze, jokes that he can always find civilization.  
> Bahorel (Light): Can always be understood. No one knows how it works. Can literally say "fight me" and everyone understands it to mean "you are literally the best, i want to devote my life to you.' Does not understand everyone. He's got no secrets, but people can find him unnerving. If he doesn't understand what he's saying, his power doesn't work.  
> Jehan(Life): Ultimate shapeshifter, but conservation of mass matters and changes take time. Has literally turned himself into a giant rat before. Has a lot of complicated thoughts about what it means to be human, loved, to have a soul, etc.  
> Marius(Space):He can teleport away. Can't control where he goes, beyond a sense of radius from origin, seems to always end up in an awkward place.If he's not careful, he can go too far.  
> Eponine(Void): Has to ability to pause her heart. While it's paused, she's invisible and impermeable. She can only safely do this for about as long as it takes to jump through a door, but she's pushed it before.  
> Well, I might be mixing up some aspects (wrote the aspect-character matches on a different piece of paper than the power-character matches), but there's the list.


End file.
